Post by Old Bucks Admin on Mar 3, 2011 6:53:08 GMT -5
Week 22 was billed as a showdown, with Red and Blue tied in the standings and only two games left in the season. Under the mistaken belief Kenny would provide teams worthy of the billing, everyone put on their equipment expecting a battle royal of epic proportions. There was much posturing, and even more braggadocio as the locker rooms simmered like kettles of Old Bucks stew. Oddly most of the boasting on Red’s side came from Kenny himself who proclaimed, soothsayer-like, “Blue doesn’t have a prayer.” Granted he should know better than anyone which team can repose their trust in divine intercession, and he was right that not even an abbey’s worth of monks saying a year’s worth of novenas could have saved Blue from their fate. The game was an absolute slaughter. Figuratively speaking, the Blue zone was littered with spent shell casings and gleaming with suddenly spilt blood. Blue scored first but was never in the game afterward. Nor will we dignify Week 22 by giving a blow-by-blow description of who scored when. Red went up 5-1, then 7-2, and then 9-3 before coasting to their final 12-6 victory. Red was obviously stocked with talent while Blue was burdened with the likes of Rich Devlin who has to wear steroid patches on his elbows just to tie his skates, and Paul Egan who was born without any menisci on his knees and can only turn around by describing long, sweeping arcs across the ice, and Saunders who skates like an old lady with wet drawers. Craig Allen was easy prey on defense and Alex Cerbone had his girlfriend of two weeks in the audience so could only manage a paltry three goals. The game, in short, was a total fiasco and left the integrity of the club—and by extension Kenny—in shambles. There has since been talk that if Blue doesn’t win Friday night they will be hosting their own separate party Saturday at Paul Egan’s house. It will be modeled after P. Diddy’s annual white parties. Everyone will be required to wear Blue garb and all the music will be blue-themed (Blue Oyster Cult, Moody Blues, Blues Traveler, Rhapsody in Blue). In lieu of an open bar there will be an open wine cellar. Both goalies will be welcome and Angie and Bill MacDowell are expected.