Post by Old Bucks Admin on Apr 30, 2011 19:53:16 GMT -5
Week 20 was a joke, but it wasn’t funny. As Angie said, “Nothing slows the decline into cantankerous old age better than playing hockey, unless you lose 12-5, and then it accelerates it.” But it was President’s Day and the benches were crowded, and though no one got elected, the Blue defense certainly got impeached. Not Dave Hunt, of course, who is always above reproach, but men like Wheels Cerbone, Kip Thomas, and Ollie Hamill who still seem to think that clearing the puck up the middle is a viable defensive option, three goals on Marty notwithstanding. Rich Devlin also tried his hand at defense but things just got messier and messier. To use a golf analogy he acted like he was following rink etiquette and allowing Red to play through. Even Blue’s much touted, high-octane offense seemed to running on nothing more substantial than jello shots. Could Jim Heffern, for example, just hit one person with a pass without that person either having to break his stride, stretch his stick, or come to a dead, screeching halt? And Heffern’s aim on net was pathetically inaccurate—indeed, more scattered than birdshot from a 12 gauge. Greg Wright in top form couldn’t scatter more shots than he. We have to go all the way back to Shakespeare to find the proper words to deplore Blue’s effort, which can only be described as “Th’expense of spirit in a waste of shame.”
So what of Red and the way they made short work of their rivals? Red was so dominant that scoring goals wasn’t even a priority. They were more concerned with who was staying out too long on shifts. One person they accused was John Lupisella, who had just upped his minutes on his phone plan and thought it was a good time to up his minutes on shifts, too. Bill MacDowell didn’t cotton to this, and almost gave him a good old-fashioned cane-whacking except that he didn’t have a cane and didn’t want to use his stick lest he be mistaken for Bill Hamill. But let’s not harp on negatives. Red did play well, and Craig Allen even had a goal—a slow, skittering shot that Marty seemed to lose in the glare of Angie’s skates. Craig Allen was just back from skiing in the Poconos for six weeks. That means he missed six straight weeks of hockey. For the reigning recipient of the Old Bucks award we think that’s unconscionable, but again we refuse to harp on negatives. And besides, if presidents can pardon people, so can we.
So what of Red and the way they made short work of their rivals? Red was so dominant that scoring goals wasn’t even a priority. They were more concerned with who was staying out too long on shifts. One person they accused was John Lupisella, who had just upped his minutes on his phone plan and thought it was a good time to up his minutes on shifts, too. Bill MacDowell didn’t cotton to this, and almost gave him a good old-fashioned cane-whacking except that he didn’t have a cane and didn’t want to use his stick lest he be mistaken for Bill Hamill. But let’s not harp on negatives. Red did play well, and Craig Allen even had a goal—a slow, skittering shot that Marty seemed to lose in the glare of Angie’s skates. Craig Allen was just back from skiing in the Poconos for six weeks. That means he missed six straight weeks of hockey. For the reigning recipient of the Old Bucks award we think that’s unconscionable, but again we refuse to harp on negatives. And besides, if presidents can pardon people, so can we.