Post by Jim H. on Dec 23, 2015 21:18:05 GMT -5
Not even a medical exemption could keep us away from Week 15 which, in accordance with Christmas tradition, promised enough college-age talent to hype a Red-Blue rematch into an event bigger than Holly Holm v. Ronda Rousey. We anticipated many story lines, but one stood out: a schlocky, straight-to-video version of a Bassertless Blue squad overcoming incredible odds, and Bob Freiling, to give the beleaguered Kenny G. his first win of the season. All the elements were in place: the Blue defense bolstered by the presence of the Skidmore-attending Sean Timmons, who dwarfed everyone else on the ice, including his dad; the Blue offense bolstered by the presence of Gardie Herr, Hotchkiss’s reigning quidditch champion, also known as “the fastest broom on the quad” (and no slouch on the ice either); Red minds perfectly at ease with Bob Freiling in the house, his pedestal just large enough to accommodate his son, Bobby Jr., who’s been known to dissect the Blue defense like a frog carcass in his A.P. Biology class; and Cheeky Herr skating Red, too, apparently to keep her away from brother Gardie, from whom she’s been estranged ever since a Thanksgiving incident in which flicked cranberry sauce got on the living room rug. "The kids" were all duly warned to preserve the integrity of the game by scoring no more than five goals apiece, nor deking anyone out to the extent that he is parted from his jock strap. Otherwise they could be their usual hotdogging selves and no one would rip their dads in nasty emails to Kenny later in the week. We felt a little schizoid not playing in the game, first hanging out on one bench, then the other, torn between wanting a close game and hoping Blue would win by ten goals. With Red winning 5-1 early on, we moved to the Blue bench and inspired them to rattle off seven straight goals and take a commanding 8-5 lead. Our percocet-addled brain could hardly believe itself; Red seemed to be moving in slow motion with some of its defensemen, like waxwork dummies in a museum, not moving at all as Vinnie faced a barrage of shots from Gardie Herr, Sean Timmons and Dan Dougherty, most of which found their mark. Leave it to Bob Freiling to stem the onslaught, taking a nice dish from John Lupisella and sneaking one through the pads of Kenny G. to make it 8-6. Then Cheeky Herr floated a fluttering puck from just inside the blue line that Kenny G. gloved, dropped, and allowed to skitter through his five-hole in what could have been pivotal mistake had not Mike Valenzano answered back to retain Blue’s two-goal cushion, 9-7. Rich Devlin made it 10-7 with a stunner of a redirect off a Sean Timmons snapshot, but Chris Chairmonte gave a much-needed jolt to Red’s offense with a two-goal shift and the score was 10-9. The teams traded goals again before Scott McCann finally tied it 11-11 by gloving down an outlet in the neutral zone, evading a couple of poke checks from Mark Timmons and banging a sharp-angled shot off the far post for the score. Then, flouting the rule book and, for good measure, the Christmas spirit, Bob Freiling tripped Gardie Herr in the Red zone, possessed himself of the puck and skated unhindered the length of the ice to assist Eddie on the go-ahead goal, 12-11 Red. The inimitable Freiling had struck again, nor did it bode well for the winless Kenny G. whose personal anthem “Love Hurts” by Nazareth was in his head and subtly preying on his confidence. Somehow Blue scored twice again and retook the lead, 13-12. The game, in fact, seemed to prefigure the Miss Universe pageant later that night where the crown of victory was bestowed on one head only to be snatched away and bestowed on another. We dared not turn away, not even for a momentary visit with Marty and Craig Allen (stomach issues) watching the Steelers game in the warm room. Scott McCann, to be sure, was the last person on Red we thought would tie the game. He was sitting on the bench wrapped in one of the foil blankets he's saved from the two Boston marathons he’s run in and looking like someone who had just hit the wall. If there was any glycogen left in him, it was probably only trace amounts, but somehow he still managed to bang another sharp-angled shot off the far post and knot the game at 13’s. Brian Urban and Bob Freiling each scored again, for Blue and Red respectively, and both teams fought hard until the last millisecond of the game when Steve Harvey ripped open the envelope and announced “And the winner is……Joe Biden!"