Post by Old Bucks Admin on Jan 30, 2023 20:55:09 GMT -5
For Week 18 we were determined to get to the locker room early. Three weeks in a row sitting in the last seat by the bathrooms was enough. We wanted to sit in the middle. The laughter is always more boisterous there anyway, usually at the expense of the last person to arrive who asks “Where do I sit?” only to receive “There’s a porcelain seat over there” in reply. We got our wish and geared up right in the thick of all the pre-game hubbub. The Eagles were trouncing the ‘Niners 21-7, Dan Dougherty was playing goal for Red, and Paul Egan was back from surgery for a small tear in his left lateral love handle—and showing everyone the scar. In the din of voices one stood out—that of the French-accented Ben David. The accent triggers us ever since the World Junior Hockey Championships in Halifax when the U.S. got robbed by the refs in its 6-2 loss to Canada. We can still hear Stripes the francophone intoning:
“After furthering review we ‘ave zee goalie tendering interference. So no goal for les Americains!”
After Week 17 Blue wanted Ben David’s name permanently engraved on its lineup card. But just to be fair Brian put him back on Red. This meant Ben was wearing his red Grundy’s jersey. Putting a French hockey player in a Grundy’s jersey is like turning Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. In fact it’s a lot worse. It’s Hyde times two—it’s double Hyde! Ben put Red on the board first, stripping Mark Mayer of the puck at the blue line and beating Vinnie for the goal. Mark Mayer has to remember that although he’s a tenured professor he’s only an adjunct defenseman and it doesn’t help that his hockey jersey has iron-on elbow patches. Nor that he puffs on an underslung pipe in between shifts.
The first part of the game was fraught with action. But it would tax the reader’s courtesy to describe it in detail. How the game became tied 5-5 has to be glossed over to get to the real drama. Our notes read “6-5 Nick 2 Joe” which means at this point Nick Gaudioso fed Joe Tona for a Red goal that snapped the tie, but the memory of it is blurred by the 24 other goals scored during the game. All we can say is that if Joe scored it, it had to be phenomenal. Jim Heffern, Rich Devlin and Alan Blankstein scored to extend Red’s lead to 9-5. Blue was in all sorts of trouble. Even the former wrestler, John Lupisella, was ready to tap out.
Red’s bench was still complaining. Ryan Crowell couldn’t believe people were playing with one hand on the stick, something for which he was routinely benched in college. Ben David complained about players making cross-ice passes “through fifty people!” Fifty people is a slight exaggeration unless you’re including all the no’s on the TeamReach App. But Red was about to have something real to complain about. Mike Valenzano (set up nicely by Frank Provenzano) scored for Blue to make it 9-6. Red changed lines and for the next 30 seconds played with—get this—only three men on the ice! Jim Heffern, Ken Blankstein and Chris Chairmonte. Meantime, Rich Devlin and Paul Egan were still on the bench flapping their gums, probably about what a pylon Kenny is, even though they themselves could have passed for wall art which was about to be doused with soup by protestors.
The Dawdling Duo finally got shouted off the pine but by the time Red regrouped, Mike Valenzano scored again! And then Andrew Tona’s friend Scott Shapiro, scored. What a smile lit up his face. It brought us back to our first Old Bucks goal 23 years ago—except we think we smiled more. Red remained doggedly oblivious of the threat. When we write that Mike Valenzano scored again! we’re sure there’s some skeptics out there who default to disbelief until proven otherwise. But we saw it with our own eyes. And waved at it with our own stick. So it had to have happened.
Blue would go on to score seven unanswered goals. They were singing Ode to Joy, Ode to Fun, Ode to Seasons in the Sun. This is not to detract from Dan in goal who was a visual marvel to behold, his glove work sleight-of-hand, his agility sleight-of-feet. We hesitate to use the phrase “circus-like saves” because that would imply his defensemen were clowns and that’s the last thing we’d want to imply. At 13-9 Ben, Rich and Joe scored to make it 13-12 but Vinnie came up with some big, timely saves and Blue got the win, which was also big, but not so big that any poles in the parking lot had to be greased.
Speaking of big, there was a big turnout at TJ’s. Andrew Tona brought some donuts and pastries leftover from a party his wife threw to which he was not invited. It was also Brian Urban’s birthday and everyone egged on Paul Egan to extemporize some kind of toast. Not good at extemporizing, Paul recited a bit of doggerel verse instead. It began Here’s to the hole that never heals…and we can’t print the rest. All kidding aside, we talked to Dan Dougherty about his goalie career from the Mites up. He told of being a first year Bantam during 9/11. A month after the attacks his team was playing at the Icehouse in Hackensack. Manhattan was just across the river, a gaping hole where the towers used to be. Inside the rink American flags were everywhere. Dan put an American flag on his goalie mask and it’s the same mask he wears today. And the flag is still there.
“After furthering review we ‘ave zee goalie tendering interference. So no goal for les Americains!”
After Week 17 Blue wanted Ben David’s name permanently engraved on its lineup card. But just to be fair Brian put him back on Red. This meant Ben was wearing his red Grundy’s jersey. Putting a French hockey player in a Grundy’s jersey is like turning Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde. In fact it’s a lot worse. It’s Hyde times two—it’s double Hyde! Ben put Red on the board first, stripping Mark Mayer of the puck at the blue line and beating Vinnie for the goal. Mark Mayer has to remember that although he’s a tenured professor he’s only an adjunct defenseman and it doesn’t help that his hockey jersey has iron-on elbow patches. Nor that he puffs on an underslung pipe in between shifts.
The first part of the game was fraught with action. But it would tax the reader’s courtesy to describe it in detail. How the game became tied 5-5 has to be glossed over to get to the real drama. Our notes read “6-5 Nick 2 Joe” which means at this point Nick Gaudioso fed Joe Tona for a Red goal that snapped the tie, but the memory of it is blurred by the 24 other goals scored during the game. All we can say is that if Joe scored it, it had to be phenomenal. Jim Heffern, Rich Devlin and Alan Blankstein scored to extend Red’s lead to 9-5. Blue was in all sorts of trouble. Even the former wrestler, John Lupisella, was ready to tap out.
Red’s bench was still complaining. Ryan Crowell couldn’t believe people were playing with one hand on the stick, something for which he was routinely benched in college. Ben David complained about players making cross-ice passes “through fifty people!” Fifty people is a slight exaggeration unless you’re including all the no’s on the TeamReach App. But Red was about to have something real to complain about. Mike Valenzano (set up nicely by Frank Provenzano) scored for Blue to make it 9-6. Red changed lines and for the next 30 seconds played with—get this—only three men on the ice! Jim Heffern, Ken Blankstein and Chris Chairmonte. Meantime, Rich Devlin and Paul Egan were still on the bench flapping their gums, probably about what a pylon Kenny is, even though they themselves could have passed for wall art which was about to be doused with soup by protestors.
The Dawdling Duo finally got shouted off the pine but by the time Red regrouped, Mike Valenzano scored again! And then Andrew Tona’s friend Scott Shapiro, scored. What a smile lit up his face. It brought us back to our first Old Bucks goal 23 years ago—except we think we smiled more. Red remained doggedly oblivious of the threat. When we write that Mike Valenzano scored again! we’re sure there’s some skeptics out there who default to disbelief until proven otherwise. But we saw it with our own eyes. And waved at it with our own stick. So it had to have happened.
Blue would go on to score seven unanswered goals. They were singing Ode to Joy, Ode to Fun, Ode to Seasons in the Sun. This is not to detract from Dan in goal who was a visual marvel to behold, his glove work sleight-of-hand, his agility sleight-of-feet. We hesitate to use the phrase “circus-like saves” because that would imply his defensemen were clowns and that’s the last thing we’d want to imply. At 13-9 Ben, Rich and Joe scored to make it 13-12 but Vinnie came up with some big, timely saves and Blue got the win, which was also big, but not so big that any poles in the parking lot had to be greased.
Speaking of big, there was a big turnout at TJ’s. Andrew Tona brought some donuts and pastries leftover from a party his wife threw to which he was not invited. It was also Brian Urban’s birthday and everyone egged on Paul Egan to extemporize some kind of toast. Not good at extemporizing, Paul recited a bit of doggerel verse instead. It began Here’s to the hole that never heals…and we can’t print the rest. All kidding aside, we talked to Dan Dougherty about his goalie career from the Mites up. He told of being a first year Bantam during 9/11. A month after the attacks his team was playing at the Icehouse in Hackensack. Manhattan was just across the river, a gaping hole where the towers used to be. Inside the rink American flags were everywhere. Dan put an American flag on his goalie mask and it’s the same mask he wears today. And the flag is still there.