Post by Jim H. on Mar 20, 2023 19:13:03 GMT -5
In Cabo baby!
That’s how Rich Devlin informed the club he would be in Cabo San Lucas for Week 24. He didn’t actually write baby! but he meant it. And that is perfectly okay because Old Bucks is like a family that lives vicariously through its members. If one hurts then we all hurt. If one hits a three wood off a sprinkler head to within five feet of the cup we all take pride in the accomplishment. And if one is lolling at ease on a tropical beach then we all…wish we were lolling at ease on the same beach. And we will be there, too, with Rich—in spirit. Just like when Tim White bellied up to the bar on St. Patrick’s Day at Tir na nOg all our bellies were right there with him, especially the most plump-stomached of them all—Paul Egan’s. The whole menagerie of Old Bucks is always together in spirit, or on WhatsApp, and sometimes for the year-end photo.
We were late to the game. But we had a good excuse. We were watching the women’s finals at Indian Wells and Elena Rybakina and Aryna Sabalenka went to a first set tiebreak, with Rybakina winning 13-11. Pretty exciting stuff when you see the pride of Kazakhstan and the pride of Belarus face off like that, especially with Sabalenka, on each shot, grunting so loud Rich could hear her in Cabo. But being late had its upside. In the locker room we got to talk to Kiyoshi at length about everything from Lucinda Williams to Yo Yo Ma to the geopolitical future of Taiwan. Then Mark Herr showed up and steered the conversation back to hockey, expounding upon the relative quality of D-III rinks in central and western Massachusetts. Actually we know more about Lucinda Williams than we know about arcanum like that, but maybe it’s just a byproduct of watching womens tennis.
Week in and week out the teams are aesthetically generated to maximize satisfaction. Week 24 was no different. “It’s 2-0 Blue,” the Blue bench informed us as we were en route to the Red bench. When we got to the Red bench Red said that 2-0 score was hogwash. It was 1-0 because the second goal was nullified by a high stick. Apparently Paul Egan scored Blue’s first goal, one-timing a beautiful saucer pass from Andrew Tona. We had an inkling of how beautiful the pass—and shot—were because Paul reenacted both for our benefit at TJ’s, using an empty pizza tray to represent the face-off circle.
When Brian Pike put Blue up 3-2, Bob Freiling, on Red, went into Torts mode shaking up the lineup big-time. Somehow Kiyoshi, contrary to custom, started on offense. Bob called Chris Chairmonte down from defense and sent Kiyoshi to anchor the D corps in his place with an express order to NEVER let Frankie and Rich Cerbone on the ice at the same time which, given the latitude with which Old Bucks changes lines—is a little impossible. But that’s how Bob thinks—in terms of the impossible. By the time Chris Chairmonte (the swaggering rake of his helmet perfectly pitched for power) scored his fourth goal of the game Red was cruising to a 7-3 lead. Bob Freiling even let his habitual half-smile expand to three-quarters length which, in terms of gamesmanship, was like full Tortorella.
Red thought Blue was powering off. In reality they were just restarting. Everyone on Blue scored, a veritable who’s who of people…who occasionally surprise us. Aaron Kibbey, John Lupisella, Andrew Tona, Paul Egan (again!) and the other Tona, Joe, who was thankfully garbed in solid Blue instead of some maroon equivalent like teal or indigo—they all scored. But no one scored as much as Ben David, author of “Everything I ever Needed to Know About Hockey I Learned in Mites (i.e. no icing, no offsides, no positions, and no penalties). Once that Canadien adrenalin kicked in Ben was unstoppable with one or two “statement goals” that went completely unanswered because no one on Red speaks French. Totally eclipsed was Bob Freiling’s own hat trick on Red’s behalf. It was like he was 10 years old again when the “Bob Freiling hat trick” was a byword of ineffectiveness: one goal, one assist and one Dalmatian from the claw machine.
Unlike the Flyers, rebuilding Red wasn’t going to be a multi-year process; it was going to be a multi-Dougherty process. They just need Chris and Greg in the lineup and they won’t be squandering 7-3 leads. At least that was the buzz at TJ’s where a modest crowd showed up and found Tim White still fretting about white pies having been banned in Week 20. After all, his ancestors invented the white pie. Tim has parchments that say the original topping wasn’t even cheese; it was a salty curd made from cauliflower. But whether the ban will last is hard to say. Just consider four-pack beer. We tried to ban that too but Brian still insists on bringing his fancy microbrews.
That’s how Rich Devlin informed the club he would be in Cabo San Lucas for Week 24. He didn’t actually write baby! but he meant it. And that is perfectly okay because Old Bucks is like a family that lives vicariously through its members. If one hurts then we all hurt. If one hits a three wood off a sprinkler head to within five feet of the cup we all take pride in the accomplishment. And if one is lolling at ease on a tropical beach then we all…wish we were lolling at ease on the same beach. And we will be there, too, with Rich—in spirit. Just like when Tim White bellied up to the bar on St. Patrick’s Day at Tir na nOg all our bellies were right there with him, especially the most plump-stomached of them all—Paul Egan’s. The whole menagerie of Old Bucks is always together in spirit, or on WhatsApp, and sometimes for the year-end photo.
We were late to the game. But we had a good excuse. We were watching the women’s finals at Indian Wells and Elena Rybakina and Aryna Sabalenka went to a first set tiebreak, with Rybakina winning 13-11. Pretty exciting stuff when you see the pride of Kazakhstan and the pride of Belarus face off like that, especially with Sabalenka, on each shot, grunting so loud Rich could hear her in Cabo. But being late had its upside. In the locker room we got to talk to Kiyoshi at length about everything from Lucinda Williams to Yo Yo Ma to the geopolitical future of Taiwan. Then Mark Herr showed up and steered the conversation back to hockey, expounding upon the relative quality of D-III rinks in central and western Massachusetts. Actually we know more about Lucinda Williams than we know about arcanum like that, but maybe it’s just a byproduct of watching womens tennis.
Week in and week out the teams are aesthetically generated to maximize satisfaction. Week 24 was no different. “It’s 2-0 Blue,” the Blue bench informed us as we were en route to the Red bench. When we got to the Red bench Red said that 2-0 score was hogwash. It was 1-0 because the second goal was nullified by a high stick. Apparently Paul Egan scored Blue’s first goal, one-timing a beautiful saucer pass from Andrew Tona. We had an inkling of how beautiful the pass—and shot—were because Paul reenacted both for our benefit at TJ’s, using an empty pizza tray to represent the face-off circle.
When Brian Pike put Blue up 3-2, Bob Freiling, on Red, went into Torts mode shaking up the lineup big-time. Somehow Kiyoshi, contrary to custom, started on offense. Bob called Chris Chairmonte down from defense and sent Kiyoshi to anchor the D corps in his place with an express order to NEVER let Frankie and Rich Cerbone on the ice at the same time which, given the latitude with which Old Bucks changes lines—is a little impossible. But that’s how Bob thinks—in terms of the impossible. By the time Chris Chairmonte (the swaggering rake of his helmet perfectly pitched for power) scored his fourth goal of the game Red was cruising to a 7-3 lead. Bob Freiling even let his habitual half-smile expand to three-quarters length which, in terms of gamesmanship, was like full Tortorella.
Red thought Blue was powering off. In reality they were just restarting. Everyone on Blue scored, a veritable who’s who of people…who occasionally surprise us. Aaron Kibbey, John Lupisella, Andrew Tona, Paul Egan (again!) and the other Tona, Joe, who was thankfully garbed in solid Blue instead of some maroon equivalent like teal or indigo—they all scored. But no one scored as much as Ben David, author of “Everything I ever Needed to Know About Hockey I Learned in Mites (i.e. no icing, no offsides, no positions, and no penalties). Once that Canadien adrenalin kicked in Ben was unstoppable with one or two “statement goals” that went completely unanswered because no one on Red speaks French. Totally eclipsed was Bob Freiling’s own hat trick on Red’s behalf. It was like he was 10 years old again when the “Bob Freiling hat trick” was a byword of ineffectiveness: one goal, one assist and one Dalmatian from the claw machine.
Unlike the Flyers, rebuilding Red wasn’t going to be a multi-year process; it was going to be a multi-Dougherty process. They just need Chris and Greg in the lineup and they won’t be squandering 7-3 leads. At least that was the buzz at TJ’s where a modest crowd showed up and found Tim White still fretting about white pies having been banned in Week 20. After all, his ancestors invented the white pie. Tim has parchments that say the original topping wasn’t even cheese; it was a salty curd made from cauliflower. But whether the ban will last is hard to say. Just consider four-pack beer. We tried to ban that too but Brian still insists on bringing his fancy microbrews.