Post by Jim H. on Dec 4, 2023 6:43:00 GMT -5
Week 13 was marked by drizzly weather, mild temps, and a substitute goalie, Jody, who’s the Wednesday goalie at the Princeton Hockey Club which apparently plays more than once a week or else he’d just be known as the goalie at PHC. Before we even put our stick in the stick rack, we kicked open the locker room door to confirm it was the right locker room and although we saw familiar faces we heard a very unfamiliar sound—the high-pitched whine of a machine coming from the far end. “Okay. That’s different,” we thought to ourselves, and racked our stick and then entered, prepared for whatever caprice fate had seen fit to enhance the locker room experience with a loud machine that made noises of a pitch not unlike the drills dentists once used on our teeth. Turns out, the machine was Brian Urban’s new portable skate sharpener and it was in the process of sharpening one of John Lupisella’s skates. “What will they think of next?” was our initial reaction. Especially when we learned this particular model doubles as an XBOX console that allows you to play NHL ’23 on everything from your PC to a Samsung refrigerator.
Brian Urban’s lineups are like snowflakes: no two are ever alike. That’s why it’s always so interesting when he posts them on WhatsApp Sunday afternoon. We like to assess the strengths and weaknesses of each team and see if our impression of “fairness” jibes with Brian’s. We have a system that divides players into three categories: good, better and best and the key is to have the same number of “bests” on each team. In Week 13, in our estimation, Brian had the same number of bests on each team. Which is why we were so shocked when Red jumped out to a 5-1 lead. Ed Conrad was playing like a top notch pitcher who was getting no run support. We looked at Blue’s bench, counted the “bests” and then it hit us: one was missing. But who? We had no idea since we don’t commit the lineups to memory. In meantime, Red kept racking up the goals, extending its lead to 9-1. It was like a tale of two movies: Napoleon and Oppenheimer. One guy is going to shoot a cannon at the pyramids; the other guy’s just going to drop an A-bomb.
Finally, after 40 minutes, Scott Shapiro came bustling down the runway and it solved the mystery of the missing best. Apparently his Hippocratic oath trumps his obligation to Brian to show up when he replies “Yes” on the TeamReach app even if it means throwing a big spanner wrench into the delicate workings of Old Bucks (Brian’s fining him a bottle of bourbon). Before Scott got in the game, Blue reminded us of John Lupisella’s three-word review of the Bob Dylan show he saw last month in Buffalo: “He’s getting old.” Indeed, there’s nothing like the serenity of retirement, unless it’s the serenity of playing Old Bucks defense. That all changed once Scott got on the ice and and Blue was able to score six times as many goals with him as without him. To put things in perspective, we asked Jody, the sub goalie, after the game: “Did you have fun?” “Yeah!” he replied. “For the first 60 minutes.” Then Scott showed up and he wished he was back at PHC playing against players like Bob Freiling.
The afterparty was exceptionally lively, even with only eleven attendees. It was unusual inasmuch as everyone chatted together as opposed to small, intimate gatherings spread out over several booths. Joe Herbert grabbed the first slices of pepperoni before they had properly congealed and liquefied cheese went everywhere. This prompted Joe Bruno to compare TJ’s pizza to lasagna: “You gotta bake it, let it cool down and then heat it up again.” Everyone reminisced about how cheap it was to drink back in college: bars with dollar pitchers where you’d buy your own pitcher and drink right out of it; bars where you’d lay five dollars down and drink shots until you insensibly collapsed on the brass footrest. Ben David said his dad would give him and his siblings wine even when they were little kids—and they always slept so well. It was great having both Davids, Ben and his son Andrew there. They had a funny exchange when the conversation turned to the fact that Andrew and Bob Freiling Jr. have yet to encounter each other in an Old Bucks game.
“They used to play together, you know,” Ben said.
“Well, we never played together,” Andrew said. “We played against each other, but never together.”
“You played on the same team!” Ben exclaimed.
“We never played on the same team,” Andrew responded.
“I have photographs. The Mercer Chiefs. At a tournament. You and him—on the same team!”
“Well, I was only four. What do I remember?”
Brian Urban’s lineups are like snowflakes: no two are ever alike. That’s why it’s always so interesting when he posts them on WhatsApp Sunday afternoon. We like to assess the strengths and weaknesses of each team and see if our impression of “fairness” jibes with Brian’s. We have a system that divides players into three categories: good, better and best and the key is to have the same number of “bests” on each team. In Week 13, in our estimation, Brian had the same number of bests on each team. Which is why we were so shocked when Red jumped out to a 5-1 lead. Ed Conrad was playing like a top notch pitcher who was getting no run support. We looked at Blue’s bench, counted the “bests” and then it hit us: one was missing. But who? We had no idea since we don’t commit the lineups to memory. In meantime, Red kept racking up the goals, extending its lead to 9-1. It was like a tale of two movies: Napoleon and Oppenheimer. One guy is going to shoot a cannon at the pyramids; the other guy’s just going to drop an A-bomb.
Finally, after 40 minutes, Scott Shapiro came bustling down the runway and it solved the mystery of the missing best. Apparently his Hippocratic oath trumps his obligation to Brian to show up when he replies “Yes” on the TeamReach app even if it means throwing a big spanner wrench into the delicate workings of Old Bucks (Brian’s fining him a bottle of bourbon). Before Scott got in the game, Blue reminded us of John Lupisella’s three-word review of the Bob Dylan show he saw last month in Buffalo: “He’s getting old.” Indeed, there’s nothing like the serenity of retirement, unless it’s the serenity of playing Old Bucks defense. That all changed once Scott got on the ice and and Blue was able to score six times as many goals with him as without him. To put things in perspective, we asked Jody, the sub goalie, after the game: “Did you have fun?” “Yeah!” he replied. “For the first 60 minutes.” Then Scott showed up and he wished he was back at PHC playing against players like Bob Freiling.
The afterparty was exceptionally lively, even with only eleven attendees. It was unusual inasmuch as everyone chatted together as opposed to small, intimate gatherings spread out over several booths. Joe Herbert grabbed the first slices of pepperoni before they had properly congealed and liquefied cheese went everywhere. This prompted Joe Bruno to compare TJ’s pizza to lasagna: “You gotta bake it, let it cool down and then heat it up again.” Everyone reminisced about how cheap it was to drink back in college: bars with dollar pitchers where you’d buy your own pitcher and drink right out of it; bars where you’d lay five dollars down and drink shots until you insensibly collapsed on the brass footrest. Ben David said his dad would give him and his siblings wine even when they were little kids—and they always slept so well. It was great having both Davids, Ben and his son Andrew there. They had a funny exchange when the conversation turned to the fact that Andrew and Bob Freiling Jr. have yet to encounter each other in an Old Bucks game.
“They used to play together, you know,” Ben said.
“Well, we never played together,” Andrew said. “We played against each other, but never together.”
“You played on the same team!” Ben exclaimed.
“We never played on the same team,” Andrew responded.
“I have photographs. The Mercer Chiefs. At a tournament. You and him—on the same team!”
“Well, I was only four. What do I remember?”