Post by JIm H. on Feb 12, 2024 20:27:14 GMT -5
In Week 21, Super Bowl Sunday, Old Bucks was loving the 2:45 p.m. start time in order to make the big ‘Niners-Chiefs game. They’re like Joe Biden: the earlier in the day, the fresher they are. We had high hopes Brian Urban would make good teams and not disappoint. Every week he’s under scrutiny and every week he performs his office like rearranging the deck chairs on the Tsaitanic. We liked what we saw: the two Tona brothers facing off against each other, the storied matchup of Brian Pike and Greg Valenski, and best of all: the two Canadians, Paul Egan and Ben David, intractable foes, enemies to knife, although Paul has to work on his chirping because we don’t think Ben was too intimidated by “I’m going to be on you like white on truffles.”
The theme of Week 21 was almost like a soap opera As the Tide Turns. Because Blue got off to a fast start. So fast that they were winning 11-7 by the time Dan Dougherty drained his first water bottle and then left the ice to refill it. Both teams held their breath wondering if he was coming back. But he did come back and for the rest of the game the action hinged on the twist of an Oreo: cream on the right Red scores seven goals in a row. “There’s so many permutations. There’s so many permutations,” Tony Romo kept saying during the Super Bowl, combining cogent analysis with two-dollar words. We have no idea what it means but it sounds like Red’s seven goal streak which didn’t just chisel away at Blue’s lead, but blasted it to oblivion. First Steve Souza ripped one from the point and Dave Boggs buried the rebound. Then Joe Tona rifled one right through the webbing of Ed Conrad’s glove. Blue had a brief chance to stop the bleeding but Alan Blankstein lost the handle on a nice dish from dad and everyone was like “Money Moody misses the PAT! (point after Tona).
Blue gave way while Red pressed on. Next it was “Open Mike Night” to make it 11-10. Greg Valenski found Mike Valenzano between the dots and though Mike may look as old as Robert Plant he can still belt out “The Battle of Evermore” if the stage is Old Bucks and the battle between Red and Blue. Then in the next 30 seconds Greg Valenski scored twice himself by going around Blue defenders like Leo Messi did in that Michelob commercial before kicking the ball incongruously into a volleyball net. Indeed, Kenny Blankstein whose motto is “Safety is my goal” is no match for Greg Valenski whose motto is “Goals are my goal.” Ben David made it 13-11 and then Greg Valenski sowed up the Patrick Mahomes Game MVP honors by falling down with the puck at his own blue line and then, from his knees, saucering a two-line cross-ice pass right to Joe Tona, playing a spry right wing, who with a burst of speed and far-side wrist shot earned the grudging respect, if not of his brother, at least of Ed. Up 14-11 Red looked more resurgent than Bud Light. It was now cool to play for it again.
Only in Old Bucks could you have a 30-goal game and still be able to describe it as a “goalie duel.” But that’s precisely what it was, so amazing was the play of Dan Dougherty and Ed Conrad as they both breakdanced their way to butterfly saves of the caliber that would rip apart the quads of lesser men. Finally, for Red, the reluctant scorer, Bobby Jr., overcame his scruples long enough to score two goals and draw Red within one, 14-13. Then Jim Heffern, whose absence from the scoring column is less from reluctance than incapacity, dished the rock to Bob Freiling who drilled it in not with reluctance, but relish, even gloating and an ear-to-ear grin, to tie the game at fourteens.
The Wheel of Fortune was now back to the Wheel of Equity. But not for long. Dave Boggs made a nice low post spin move to put Red up by one and then Ben David teamed up with the second-year man out of Bucknell, Scott Shapiro and they were like Jay-Z and LL Cool J inasmuch as they put some serious moves on an overworked Ed Conrad and extended Red’s lead to two. At this point Blue’s game plan was the following: tie the game 16-16, send it into overtime, win the coin toss, and give Red the puck so they would know whether they needed a field goal or a touchdown to win the game. Oh…actually that was the Chiefs-‘Niners game. Down 16-14, Blue’s strategy was more indeterminate because it was beyond all bounds tired and thirsty and Taylor Swift’s happiness wasn’t contingent on it losing. And so its effort fizzled and that’s how it ended. In the locker room the Eagles and Giants fans made fun of each other, and the club skipped TJ’s to go home, no one expecting to be thrilled by one of the greatest, most entertaining Super Bowls in its 58-year history.
The theme of Week 21 was almost like a soap opera As the Tide Turns. Because Blue got off to a fast start. So fast that they were winning 11-7 by the time Dan Dougherty drained his first water bottle and then left the ice to refill it. Both teams held their breath wondering if he was coming back. But he did come back and for the rest of the game the action hinged on the twist of an Oreo: cream on the right Red scores seven goals in a row. “There’s so many permutations. There’s so many permutations,” Tony Romo kept saying during the Super Bowl, combining cogent analysis with two-dollar words. We have no idea what it means but it sounds like Red’s seven goal streak which didn’t just chisel away at Blue’s lead, but blasted it to oblivion. First Steve Souza ripped one from the point and Dave Boggs buried the rebound. Then Joe Tona rifled one right through the webbing of Ed Conrad’s glove. Blue had a brief chance to stop the bleeding but Alan Blankstein lost the handle on a nice dish from dad and everyone was like “Money Moody misses the PAT! (point after Tona).
Blue gave way while Red pressed on. Next it was “Open Mike Night” to make it 11-10. Greg Valenski found Mike Valenzano between the dots and though Mike may look as old as Robert Plant he can still belt out “The Battle of Evermore” if the stage is Old Bucks and the battle between Red and Blue. Then in the next 30 seconds Greg Valenski scored twice himself by going around Blue defenders like Leo Messi did in that Michelob commercial before kicking the ball incongruously into a volleyball net. Indeed, Kenny Blankstein whose motto is “Safety is my goal” is no match for Greg Valenski whose motto is “Goals are my goal.” Ben David made it 13-11 and then Greg Valenski sowed up the Patrick Mahomes Game MVP honors by falling down with the puck at his own blue line and then, from his knees, saucering a two-line cross-ice pass right to Joe Tona, playing a spry right wing, who with a burst of speed and far-side wrist shot earned the grudging respect, if not of his brother, at least of Ed. Up 14-11 Red looked more resurgent than Bud Light. It was now cool to play for it again.
Only in Old Bucks could you have a 30-goal game and still be able to describe it as a “goalie duel.” But that’s precisely what it was, so amazing was the play of Dan Dougherty and Ed Conrad as they both breakdanced their way to butterfly saves of the caliber that would rip apart the quads of lesser men. Finally, for Red, the reluctant scorer, Bobby Jr., overcame his scruples long enough to score two goals and draw Red within one, 14-13. Then Jim Heffern, whose absence from the scoring column is less from reluctance than incapacity, dished the rock to Bob Freiling who drilled it in not with reluctance, but relish, even gloating and an ear-to-ear grin, to tie the game at fourteens.
The Wheel of Fortune was now back to the Wheel of Equity. But not for long. Dave Boggs made a nice low post spin move to put Red up by one and then Ben David teamed up with the second-year man out of Bucknell, Scott Shapiro and they were like Jay-Z and LL Cool J inasmuch as they put some serious moves on an overworked Ed Conrad and extended Red’s lead to two. At this point Blue’s game plan was the following: tie the game 16-16, send it into overtime, win the coin toss, and give Red the puck so they would know whether they needed a field goal or a touchdown to win the game. Oh…actually that was the Chiefs-‘Niners game. Down 16-14, Blue’s strategy was more indeterminate because it was beyond all bounds tired and thirsty and Taylor Swift’s happiness wasn’t contingent on it losing. And so its effort fizzled and that’s how it ended. In the locker room the Eagles and Giants fans made fun of each other, and the club skipped TJ’s to go home, no one expecting to be thrilled by one of the greatest, most entertaining Super Bowls in its 58-year history.