Post by Jim H. on Mar 4, 2024 7:21:43 GMT -5
Intraclub competition—that’s what Old Bucks hockey is all about. Parceling out players to Blue and Red in a way that makes the action hair-raising even for players who don’t have hair. And especially for players that have too much hair. We drove to the rink thinking about Red’s six-game winning streak (Blue hasn’t won since Week 17) and how the old trope “Old Bucks is fixed!” has reared its ugly head again. Except in deference to Brian Urban’s scientific method of picking teams, people now complain “The metrics don’t align!”
There was a lot of “Nos” on the TeamReach app for Week 24. Only Vinnie typed an excuse: he had to work, probably on some business-impacting IT emergency that involved sharing screens, rebooting laptops, and conference calls with offshore assets. Old Bucks would have to get by with only two goalies. Daunting but doable. The locker room welcomed back Garrett Heffern, his first skate in three years. He saw his old Squirt coach, Mr. Pike and his old gym teacher, Mr. Boggs. It was like an episode of that show This is Your Life only without commercials for Lucky Strike cigarettes. We were surprised to see Hughie, knowing he’s been picked to deliver the Old Bucks response to the State of the Union Thursday night. We figured he’d be writing it. But it’s already done. Set to be live-streamed from the Standin Room Only Pub in Lambertville, it will consist of only three words: “We want Michelle!”
We recently watched a Youtube video called “Unbelievable water polo goals.” We were shocked by its elastic interpretation of what constitutes “unbelievable.” By its standard all 18 goals in Week 24 were unbelievable. Like the first one: Dave Boggs dishing to Brian Urban who knows how to open up those pads in a way that strains credulity every time. Then Bob Freiling tied it up 1-1 which is pretty unbelievable because Junior wasn’t there to pass him the puck. Red jumped out to an early 4-2 lead and then doubled up the score again 6-3 when suddenly misfortune struck: Joe Tona bowed out, citing his Achilles heel and memory of Dre Greenlaw going down in the Super Bowl with a torn one.
Eventually Blue, playing with a two-Joe advantage, including Joe McNamara with his steel-toed skates and steel-toed bandana, worked the score tied, 7-7 as someone threw the lever on the sub-panel of Red’s offense and the lights went out like they did at the Wells Fargo Center during the Flyers Lightning game. Credit Blue’s amazing surge to Scott Shapiro who had three goals during this run as he continues to live out a success story worthy of a Horatio Alger novel: small town boy moves to the big city and dominates beer club hockey. Dramatically, Bob Freiling had a chance to snap the tie with another rink-long breakaway but he tried that old stutter-step move called “the Grundy shuffle” which Dan had seen too many times to fall for again; and Dan easily batted the shot away with his stick (Bob's detractors grinned at the sight of him looking more embarrassed than Jack Hughes did when--season on the line--he flubbed his penalty shot with two seconds left against the Ducks).
Yes, it was a big miss in a big spot, but Red took advantage of a new weapon: Joe Tona, in street clothes, on its bench working the door and allowing for lightning quick line changes that obviated the strain of having to climb over the boards. Old Bucks courtesy was never used to more lethal effect. Red scored the last four goals, including game-winner by Garrett Heffern, and a celebratory throng filled the front porch of TJ’s with a nice, warm breeze rippling down Main Street and dusk deepening into night as pleasantly as any piazza in Naples (that's Italy not Florida).
There was a lot of “Nos” on the TeamReach app for Week 24. Only Vinnie typed an excuse: he had to work, probably on some business-impacting IT emergency that involved sharing screens, rebooting laptops, and conference calls with offshore assets. Old Bucks would have to get by with only two goalies. Daunting but doable. The locker room welcomed back Garrett Heffern, his first skate in three years. He saw his old Squirt coach, Mr. Pike and his old gym teacher, Mr. Boggs. It was like an episode of that show This is Your Life only without commercials for Lucky Strike cigarettes. We were surprised to see Hughie, knowing he’s been picked to deliver the Old Bucks response to the State of the Union Thursday night. We figured he’d be writing it. But it’s already done. Set to be live-streamed from the Standin Room Only Pub in Lambertville, it will consist of only three words: “We want Michelle!”
We recently watched a Youtube video called “Unbelievable water polo goals.” We were shocked by its elastic interpretation of what constitutes “unbelievable.” By its standard all 18 goals in Week 24 were unbelievable. Like the first one: Dave Boggs dishing to Brian Urban who knows how to open up those pads in a way that strains credulity every time. Then Bob Freiling tied it up 1-1 which is pretty unbelievable because Junior wasn’t there to pass him the puck. Red jumped out to an early 4-2 lead and then doubled up the score again 6-3 when suddenly misfortune struck: Joe Tona bowed out, citing his Achilles heel and memory of Dre Greenlaw going down in the Super Bowl with a torn one.
Eventually Blue, playing with a two-Joe advantage, including Joe McNamara with his steel-toed skates and steel-toed bandana, worked the score tied, 7-7 as someone threw the lever on the sub-panel of Red’s offense and the lights went out like they did at the Wells Fargo Center during the Flyers Lightning game. Credit Blue’s amazing surge to Scott Shapiro who had three goals during this run as he continues to live out a success story worthy of a Horatio Alger novel: small town boy moves to the big city and dominates beer club hockey. Dramatically, Bob Freiling had a chance to snap the tie with another rink-long breakaway but he tried that old stutter-step move called “the Grundy shuffle” which Dan had seen too many times to fall for again; and Dan easily batted the shot away with his stick (Bob's detractors grinned at the sight of him looking more embarrassed than Jack Hughes did when--season on the line--he flubbed his penalty shot with two seconds left against the Ducks).
Yes, it was a big miss in a big spot, but Red took advantage of a new weapon: Joe Tona, in street clothes, on its bench working the door and allowing for lightning quick line changes that obviated the strain of having to climb over the boards. Old Bucks courtesy was never used to more lethal effect. Red scored the last four goals, including game-winner by Garrett Heffern, and a celebratory throng filled the front porch of TJ’s with a nice, warm breeze rippling down Main Street and dusk deepening into night as pleasantly as any piazza in Naples (that's Italy not Florida).