Post by Jim H. on Mar 24, 2024 20:50:35 GMT -5
The Roaring 20’s.
Coined a hundred years ago to describe the United States enjoying a surging economy and mass consumerism, the phrase proves that history repeats itself: the first time as farce, the second time as even funnier farce. Today is the Roaring Twenties too. Joe Biden roars through the halls of Congress; the stock market roars into the stratosphere, John Tortorella roars himself hoarse from the Flyers bench (“I’m not going anywhere!”) and in Old Bucks hockey Red roars itself back into contention with a nine-game win streak. Red came into Week 27 riding a March madness high with only a bracket-busting Blue to stand in its way. And if that story line wasn’t enough Blue had just named Bob Freiling as its captain—and then scratched him from the line-up. Bob being Bob showed up and played anyway.
We were late to the game, arriving right at puck drop. We tried to access the big locker room and the Red bench directed us to the two small locker rooms, saying the doors were locked. We continued on and found one small locker room full—not of people, but of bags strewn everywhere. We went to the other locker room and found that equally cluttered. We kicked aside one bag and tried not to wrinkle Joe Bruno’s towel that he lays on the floor to protect the soles of his feet from harmful contagions. Completely alone, we began that long, tedious process of gearing up that always makes us wish we played basketball. Not even Mark Herr joined us. Thoughts came into our brain that had no business being there, including of the gambling scandal involving Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter. We listened for cheers on the ice that signified goals but the game was eerily quiet. Not because Red wasn’t scoring, we learned later, it just wasn’t gloating.
When we got to the Blue bench Red was winning 4-2. It would take a half hour for Blue to score its third goal. In the meantime Red ran up the score led by Andrew Cordssen-David who is such a wizard with the puck he makes even the muggles look good. Blue’s only strategy was “wait until Andrew’s off the ice and go to town.” But even with Andrew off the ice Blue didn’t play much better. We literally stopped writing down Red goals—there were so many of them. Nor will we fault Ed Conrad for his all-out effort between the pipes. That only leaves Blue defensemen whom we’re not even supposed to call defensemen because that’s genderism. According to Rich Cerbone they’re called “goal prevention specialists.” Be that as it may, they weren’t preventing much goals in Week 27. Especially against Ben David who was doing wonders for his NILHFA (name, image, likeness and heavy French accent).
But it wouldn’t be Old Bucks without a good Kiyoshi story. Here’s how it unfolded: Joe McNamara scored to make it 8-2 Red and Ed Conrad smashed his stick on the ice, breaking it. “Get my other stick,” he told the people on the ice. Kiyoshi volunteered to get it and proceeded to got the big locker rooms—the ones that were locked. Redirected to the small locker rooms, he skated down the ice to the door behind the Red goal, opened it and mounted his search for Ed’s spare stick. “Close the door!” everyone shouted, having been apprized by Ed that he could still play with his cracked stick while Kiyoshi looked for his backup. But by then it was too late so everyone waited for Kiyoshi to find the stick and skate it all the way down to Ed. The whole exercise was performed with near perfect homage to his early exit in Week 26.
After the game Brian Urban assured everyone that he now understands the whole Andrew Cordssen-David effect on balancing the teams. He said the next time Andrew’s name shows up on the TeamReach app, he’s is going to stack the opposing team’s lineup with so many good players, Andrew’s team will “rue the day” they ever entrusted to their fate to an Excel spreadsheet. It all makes for a dramatic end to the season. Four weeks to go and the records of Blue and Red are 14-12-1 and 12-14-1 respectively. It's gut check time for both teams. The Easter break is a well-deserved rest before “The Hunt for the Cup” begins Old Bucks-style.
Coined a hundred years ago to describe the United States enjoying a surging economy and mass consumerism, the phrase proves that history repeats itself: the first time as farce, the second time as even funnier farce. Today is the Roaring Twenties too. Joe Biden roars through the halls of Congress; the stock market roars into the stratosphere, John Tortorella roars himself hoarse from the Flyers bench (“I’m not going anywhere!”) and in Old Bucks hockey Red roars itself back into contention with a nine-game win streak. Red came into Week 27 riding a March madness high with only a bracket-busting Blue to stand in its way. And if that story line wasn’t enough Blue had just named Bob Freiling as its captain—and then scratched him from the line-up. Bob being Bob showed up and played anyway.
We were late to the game, arriving right at puck drop. We tried to access the big locker room and the Red bench directed us to the two small locker rooms, saying the doors were locked. We continued on and found one small locker room full—not of people, but of bags strewn everywhere. We went to the other locker room and found that equally cluttered. We kicked aside one bag and tried not to wrinkle Joe Bruno’s towel that he lays on the floor to protect the soles of his feet from harmful contagions. Completely alone, we began that long, tedious process of gearing up that always makes us wish we played basketball. Not even Mark Herr joined us. Thoughts came into our brain that had no business being there, including of the gambling scandal involving Shohei Ohtani’s interpreter. We listened for cheers on the ice that signified goals but the game was eerily quiet. Not because Red wasn’t scoring, we learned later, it just wasn’t gloating.
When we got to the Blue bench Red was winning 4-2. It would take a half hour for Blue to score its third goal. In the meantime Red ran up the score led by Andrew Cordssen-David who is such a wizard with the puck he makes even the muggles look good. Blue’s only strategy was “wait until Andrew’s off the ice and go to town.” But even with Andrew off the ice Blue didn’t play much better. We literally stopped writing down Red goals—there were so many of them. Nor will we fault Ed Conrad for his all-out effort between the pipes. That only leaves Blue defensemen whom we’re not even supposed to call defensemen because that’s genderism. According to Rich Cerbone they’re called “goal prevention specialists.” Be that as it may, they weren’t preventing much goals in Week 27. Especially against Ben David who was doing wonders for his NILHFA (name, image, likeness and heavy French accent).
But it wouldn’t be Old Bucks without a good Kiyoshi story. Here’s how it unfolded: Joe McNamara scored to make it 8-2 Red and Ed Conrad smashed his stick on the ice, breaking it. “Get my other stick,” he told the people on the ice. Kiyoshi volunteered to get it and proceeded to got the big locker rooms—the ones that were locked. Redirected to the small locker rooms, he skated down the ice to the door behind the Red goal, opened it and mounted his search for Ed’s spare stick. “Close the door!” everyone shouted, having been apprized by Ed that he could still play with his cracked stick while Kiyoshi looked for his backup. But by then it was too late so everyone waited for Kiyoshi to find the stick and skate it all the way down to Ed. The whole exercise was performed with near perfect homage to his early exit in Week 26.
After the game Brian Urban assured everyone that he now understands the whole Andrew Cordssen-David effect on balancing the teams. He said the next time Andrew’s name shows up on the TeamReach app, he’s is going to stack the opposing team’s lineup with so many good players, Andrew’s team will “rue the day” they ever entrusted to their fate to an Excel spreadsheet. It all makes for a dramatic end to the season. Four weeks to go and the records of Blue and Red are 14-12-1 and 12-14-1 respectively. It's gut check time for both teams. The Easter break is a well-deserved rest before “The Hunt for the Cup” begins Old Bucks-style.