Post by Jim H. on Apr 29, 2024 6:58:47 GMT -5
The big takeaway from Week 31 was that Florida is still in play, if not for Joe Biden, at least for the Tampa Bay Lightning. Yes, the last week of the Old Bucks season fell right in the thick of the first round of the NHL playoffs. Both Tona brothers were gushing that the Rangers were leading the Capitols 3-0 in games; and Rich Cerbone was gushing that the Maple Leafs were sending the Bruins home early—to prepare for the second round. But Old Bucks also had a big playoff series—the second annual round robin organized by Brian Urban. It all began on Friday, Draft Day, over beers at the Mountain View Golf Club. We didn’t attend the club’s spring golf outing but we followed its leaderboard more avidly than we did the leaderboard of the LIV tournament in Adelaide. The John and Josh pairing came up just short of beating Chris and Nick mainly because John got the chipping yips down the stretch. It must be tough being John Lupisella, going through life like Colin Montgomerie always a stroke shy of a playoff. But that’s what Old Bucks is for—so people like Johnnie can win!
After the draft, Brian posted the four teams on WhatsApp. Blue had all the studs, White had the diggers and grinders, and Black/Gray had Bob Freiling—so they all looked pretty even. The only outlier was Red captained by Paul Egan. We took a look at Paul’s team and had the exact same thought we had when we saw Neil Young and Crazy Horse on Youtube:
Are those guys still playing?
“How did this occur?” we asked ourselves. And then we pictured the scene—the drawing of straws to see who picked first and then each captain announcing his first pick. This is what we pictured:
Andrew Tona: “I pick Ed Collins.”
John Lupisella: “I pick Scott Shapiro.”
Steve Souza: “I pick Chris Dougherty.”
Paul Egan: ““You know, I really love the seasoning on these waffle fries. Very herbal with just a hint paprika.”
“Paul, who’s your pick?”
“Huh? Oh, uh…I’ll take Kenny Blankstein.”
But give Paul credit. It’s not about the winning and losing. It’s all about having your homies on your team. That’s the true spirit of Old Bucks hockey in all its magnanimous glory.
When we got to the rink we saw in the distance Brian and Jamison Pike gearing up in the first row of the stands. We instantly deduced that the two small locker rooms were jammed to capacity with 35 skaters. So we went into the fancy “Friends of Lawrenceville” suite with its glass facade and oriental carpet laid across concrete. There we suited up keeping our skate guards on because of the concrete and making a mental note to take them off before we hit the ice. Soon Bruce the Zamboni driver came by and popped his head in. “You’re really not supposed to be in here,” he said. “This room is reserved for the girls lacrosse team and girls softball team.” Outwardly apologetic, we were inwardly rejoicing that in this day and age there are still gender-specific spaces reserved for girls and people like Bruce willing to police them. Thank you Bruce for restoring our faith in humanity!
Absolute chaos ensued for the start of Game 1. It was supposed to be Red vs. Blue and both teams were on the ice ready to play. Only Red had no bench, no Sarah Herr, and Blue had no Brooks Herr because several players were late. At Brian’s command, the two teams were ushered off the ice and the Game 2 matchup, White vs. Black/Gray, became the Game 1 matchup. “Alright. This game already has an asterisk,” Greg Valenski said. And once it started, the confusion was compounded by having a Black/Gray team whose jerseys alternated between 50 Shades of Gray and a few black shirts that looked like they were part of a goth subculture on the team. Somehow, Black/Gray surmounted this obstacle and scored first to lead 1-0. But Dave Boggs scored twice for White and this one went in the books a 2-1 White victory.
Brooks and Sarah Herr showed up at the 8 minute mark of Game 1 and were geared up in time for Game 2, pitting Red against Blue and everyone giving Red zero chance to win. But the clock wound down—8 minute mark, 7 minute mark, 6 minute mark with the game still scoreless. “I don’t like the energy,” Brian Urban said of his team, Blue. “I’m already worrying about goal differentials.” Both goalies, Chetti and Dan, were beasts with mind blowing saves but something had to give, and it finally did at the 3:30 mark when Ed Collins made a solo effort to give Blue the 1-0 lead. But Red fought on, heroically unconscious of its own feebleness, and at the 2 minute mark Paul Egan knotted the games ones with a dagger from between the hash marks. In panic mode, Blue got their core four out on the ice and went to work. With 50 seconds left, Rich Cerbone ripped one from the point that Chetti saved only to have Ed Collins, camped out in front, bury the rebound. And then Jamison Pike took the puck coast-to-coast to score at the buzzer and seal the 3-1 victory.
Red stayed on the ice for the back-to-back games, this time against a White team who huddled at center ice just before puck drop and shared what beers they were bringing to Andrew’s after the game. White had fresh legs while Red was already tiring on the initial dump in to the corner to start the game. It was no contest—a 6-0 blowout. All of Red’s handicaps were on prominent display. They reminded us of the French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre’s take on the mystical duality of being and nothingness as in the following statement:
Who is playing defense?
No one.
For the entire game we sat next to Brooks Herr and Bob Freiling who talked about everything from Jamie Dimon’s opinion of the Fed funds rate to the volatility of pension funds in the southern states to economic models based on the frequency of hurricanes. It was actually more interesting than watching the game. Red made a last ditch effort to negate the shutout with Joey Mac, Mike V. and Mark Herr camped out on Ed Conrad’s doorstep and Paul Egan banging on a paint bucket. But Mark Mayer and Frankie cleared them out so aggressively that they needed to talk to grief counselors after the game. Red was mathematically eliminated from the finals.
We can gloss over Games 4 and 5—a Blue defeat of Black/Gray and a Black/Gray defeat of Red, because everyone knew it was going Blue v. White in the Championship game and it was so fixed in cement that it was accorded two 12 minute halves for 24 minutes in all. Both teams upped the intensity level and the game started out like a cross between Greco-Roman hockey and Australian Rules pickle ball. First Brian Urban made a quick cut to the open lane and collided in headlong fashion with Greg Valenski, sending both players sprawling to the ice. If that wasn’t violent enough Ed Collins clotheslined Valenski 30 seconds later and the latter went down hard—again. Fortunately things settled down for the rest of the game which turned into a systematic White dismantling of Blue with Scott Shapiro in the driver’s seat, the rest of the team along for the ride, and Mark Mayer as the St. Bernard with its head out the window. Scott scored four goals in the 7-4 victory, thereby earning himself a penthouse suite in Ed Conrad’s head for the whole summer.
We can’t say enough about the Tona hospitality that hosted the post-game gathering on his back deck elevated over a beautiful back yard. The only downer was our memory of the bulldog who has departed this life for the next (the dachshund was still there and tearing the hide off an empty bottle of Poland Spring water). It was a raucous turnout spanning several hours with the flat screen in place and lots of food and lots of playoff hockey. Of the many incidents worth mentioning one stood out: Paul Egan switching from a Jets jersey to an Avalanche jersey when the ‘Lanche took a 4-1 lead. Rich Devlin showed up, Tim White was there, Mike Robbins was face-timed, fond memories were shared of players no longer with the club including Jeff Skinner, Dave Hunt, Dave Major, the Diazes, the Basserts, Mark Smith, Jack Bryan—and the oldest of the old-timers, Mike Dougherty and Ed Odoski reminisced about how they both got started in Old Bucks back in the 90s. We only regret that we left before watching Vancouver’s incredible three-goal comeback against the Predators.
After the draft, Brian posted the four teams on WhatsApp. Blue had all the studs, White had the diggers and grinders, and Black/Gray had Bob Freiling—so they all looked pretty even. The only outlier was Red captained by Paul Egan. We took a look at Paul’s team and had the exact same thought we had when we saw Neil Young and Crazy Horse on Youtube:
Are those guys still playing?
“How did this occur?” we asked ourselves. And then we pictured the scene—the drawing of straws to see who picked first and then each captain announcing his first pick. This is what we pictured:
Andrew Tona: “I pick Ed Collins.”
John Lupisella: “I pick Scott Shapiro.”
Steve Souza: “I pick Chris Dougherty.”
Paul Egan: ““You know, I really love the seasoning on these waffle fries. Very herbal with just a hint paprika.”
“Paul, who’s your pick?”
“Huh? Oh, uh…I’ll take Kenny Blankstein.”
But give Paul credit. It’s not about the winning and losing. It’s all about having your homies on your team. That’s the true spirit of Old Bucks hockey in all its magnanimous glory.
When we got to the rink we saw in the distance Brian and Jamison Pike gearing up in the first row of the stands. We instantly deduced that the two small locker rooms were jammed to capacity with 35 skaters. So we went into the fancy “Friends of Lawrenceville” suite with its glass facade and oriental carpet laid across concrete. There we suited up keeping our skate guards on because of the concrete and making a mental note to take them off before we hit the ice. Soon Bruce the Zamboni driver came by and popped his head in. “You’re really not supposed to be in here,” he said. “This room is reserved for the girls lacrosse team and girls softball team.” Outwardly apologetic, we were inwardly rejoicing that in this day and age there are still gender-specific spaces reserved for girls and people like Bruce willing to police them. Thank you Bruce for restoring our faith in humanity!
Absolute chaos ensued for the start of Game 1. It was supposed to be Red vs. Blue and both teams were on the ice ready to play. Only Red had no bench, no Sarah Herr, and Blue had no Brooks Herr because several players were late. At Brian’s command, the two teams were ushered off the ice and the Game 2 matchup, White vs. Black/Gray, became the Game 1 matchup. “Alright. This game already has an asterisk,” Greg Valenski said. And once it started, the confusion was compounded by having a Black/Gray team whose jerseys alternated between 50 Shades of Gray and a few black shirts that looked like they were part of a goth subculture on the team. Somehow, Black/Gray surmounted this obstacle and scored first to lead 1-0. But Dave Boggs scored twice for White and this one went in the books a 2-1 White victory.
Brooks and Sarah Herr showed up at the 8 minute mark of Game 1 and were geared up in time for Game 2, pitting Red against Blue and everyone giving Red zero chance to win. But the clock wound down—8 minute mark, 7 minute mark, 6 minute mark with the game still scoreless. “I don’t like the energy,” Brian Urban said of his team, Blue. “I’m already worrying about goal differentials.” Both goalies, Chetti and Dan, were beasts with mind blowing saves but something had to give, and it finally did at the 3:30 mark when Ed Collins made a solo effort to give Blue the 1-0 lead. But Red fought on, heroically unconscious of its own feebleness, and at the 2 minute mark Paul Egan knotted the games ones with a dagger from between the hash marks. In panic mode, Blue got their core four out on the ice and went to work. With 50 seconds left, Rich Cerbone ripped one from the point that Chetti saved only to have Ed Collins, camped out in front, bury the rebound. And then Jamison Pike took the puck coast-to-coast to score at the buzzer and seal the 3-1 victory.
Red stayed on the ice for the back-to-back games, this time against a White team who huddled at center ice just before puck drop and shared what beers they were bringing to Andrew’s after the game. White had fresh legs while Red was already tiring on the initial dump in to the corner to start the game. It was no contest—a 6-0 blowout. All of Red’s handicaps were on prominent display. They reminded us of the French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre’s take on the mystical duality of being and nothingness as in the following statement:
Who is playing defense?
No one.
For the entire game we sat next to Brooks Herr and Bob Freiling who talked about everything from Jamie Dimon’s opinion of the Fed funds rate to the volatility of pension funds in the southern states to economic models based on the frequency of hurricanes. It was actually more interesting than watching the game. Red made a last ditch effort to negate the shutout with Joey Mac, Mike V. and Mark Herr camped out on Ed Conrad’s doorstep and Paul Egan banging on a paint bucket. But Mark Mayer and Frankie cleared them out so aggressively that they needed to talk to grief counselors after the game. Red was mathematically eliminated from the finals.
We can gloss over Games 4 and 5—a Blue defeat of Black/Gray and a Black/Gray defeat of Red, because everyone knew it was going Blue v. White in the Championship game and it was so fixed in cement that it was accorded two 12 minute halves for 24 minutes in all. Both teams upped the intensity level and the game started out like a cross between Greco-Roman hockey and Australian Rules pickle ball. First Brian Urban made a quick cut to the open lane and collided in headlong fashion with Greg Valenski, sending both players sprawling to the ice. If that wasn’t violent enough Ed Collins clotheslined Valenski 30 seconds later and the latter went down hard—again. Fortunately things settled down for the rest of the game which turned into a systematic White dismantling of Blue with Scott Shapiro in the driver’s seat, the rest of the team along for the ride, and Mark Mayer as the St. Bernard with its head out the window. Scott scored four goals in the 7-4 victory, thereby earning himself a penthouse suite in Ed Conrad’s head for the whole summer.
We can’t say enough about the Tona hospitality that hosted the post-game gathering on his back deck elevated over a beautiful back yard. The only downer was our memory of the bulldog who has departed this life for the next (the dachshund was still there and tearing the hide off an empty bottle of Poland Spring water). It was a raucous turnout spanning several hours with the flat screen in place and lots of food and lots of playoff hockey. Of the many incidents worth mentioning one stood out: Paul Egan switching from a Jets jersey to an Avalanche jersey when the ‘Lanche took a 4-1 lead. Rich Devlin showed up, Tim White was there, Mike Robbins was face-timed, fond memories were shared of players no longer with the club including Jeff Skinner, Dave Hunt, Dave Major, the Diazes, the Basserts, Mark Smith, Jack Bryan—and the oldest of the old-timers, Mike Dougherty and Ed Odoski reminisced about how they both got started in Old Bucks back in the 90s. We only regret that we left before watching Vancouver’s incredible three-goal comeback against the Predators.